they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
