do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
