and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I can't turn off my feet"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
