I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
