Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
