See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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