doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
