I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
