Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize