i just google imaged poop.
I've blown a few things in my day
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
