Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
