Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
