New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
