it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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