what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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