can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
