I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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