New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
