Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
