she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize