Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
