Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
