Sry I called you an 8
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
