i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
