We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
