dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
