you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
