I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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