Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She bit a glass in half.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
