so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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