I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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