I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
