I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
