4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
