honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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