i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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