help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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