I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
