yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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