why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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