I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
