ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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