I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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