I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize