I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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