i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
pray to the hookup gods
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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