I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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