Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize