Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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