I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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