So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
