He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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