And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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