I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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