im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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