There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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