Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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