Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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