He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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