When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
