This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Randomize
