I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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