can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
