For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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